Hi Wayne and The Good Men's Project's Substack, its a relief to read your post(s). At 88 I have been around for a long time. I have had about 40 years of professional life (employed as well as self-employed), fortunately having enough of academical degrees to compete with my male colleagues. But there was always the unspoken "resistance" from the males towards women to treat us as equa, especially if the man thought the woman was "beneath" him. This was felt but there was not much awareness around it. ---
With a site like this one, bless you!!!, all these "undertows" are now brought up and out into the open. I can feel an almost visceral relief that at least somewhere this awareness job is finally being undertaken. Systematically and consistently. Any kind of enmity or disrespect between genders is a cultural construct which needs to be taken apart and something new and more respectful put in its place. Your project serves this purpose. Thank you. Love, Maria
We've all experienced "motomouths" who put their voices on cruise control and forget to tap the brake. I was brought up to never interrupt anyone, so it has not been a personal issue. In moderating meetings, however, I have had to shut down "the expert", who talks over both women and "lesser" men.
I see this happen all the time, and I don’t let it slide. When a woman is speaking and some guy suddenly turns to me like I’m the ‘real’ audience, I stop him cold ... she’s talking, man. Look over there. Listen.
I’m not perfect, but I don’t interrupt women. What I do is stand up in those moments when the room tilts the wrong way. It’s wild how often a woman will pause mid‑sentence the second a man jumps in, even when she was carrying the whole point.
What I like in this story wasn’t the interruption ... it was the correction. One man calling another back into line and giving the woman her space again. That’s the part I recognize. That’s the part I try to do.
Yielding the floor isn’t weakness. It’s respect. It’s saying: her voice matters, and you don’t get to bulldoze it just because you’re used to being heard first.
Being interrupted or talked over is a common female experience. Workplace studies tell the same story across industries: women in mixed meetings are interrupted at substantially higher rates than men, are credited less often when they do speak, and are more likely to find their ideas adopted only after a male colleague restates them. The dynamic operates at all levels of society and has even been observed in the highest echelons — including the United States Supreme Court. A 2017 study by legal scholars Tonja Jacobi and Dylan Schweers found male justices interrupted female justices at three times the rate they interrupted one another. Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg were interrupted repeatedly — sometimes 10–15+ times by individual male colleagues in a single term. The pattern extended beyond the bench: male attorneys were also more likely to interrupt female justices. When the Court imposed stricter turn-taking rules, interruptions dropped off.
Hi Wayne and The Good Men's Project's Substack, its a relief to read your post(s). At 88 I have been around for a long time. I have had about 40 years of professional life (employed as well as self-employed), fortunately having enough of academical degrees to compete with my male colleagues. But there was always the unspoken "resistance" from the males towards women to treat us as equa, especially if the man thought the woman was "beneath" him. This was felt but there was not much awareness around it. ---
With a site like this one, bless you!!!, all these "undertows" are now brought up and out into the open. I can feel an almost visceral relief that at least somewhere this awareness job is finally being undertaken. Systematically and consistently. Any kind of enmity or disrespect between genders is a cultural construct which needs to be taken apart and something new and more respectful put in its place. Your project serves this purpose. Thank you. Love, Maria
We've all experienced "motomouths" who put their voices on cruise control and forget to tap the brake. I was brought up to never interrupt anyone, so it has not been a personal issue. In moderating meetings, however, I have had to shut down "the expert", who talks over both women and "lesser" men.
I see this happen all the time, and I don’t let it slide. When a woman is speaking and some guy suddenly turns to me like I’m the ‘real’ audience, I stop him cold ... she’s talking, man. Look over there. Listen.
I’m not perfect, but I don’t interrupt women. What I do is stand up in those moments when the room tilts the wrong way. It’s wild how often a woman will pause mid‑sentence the second a man jumps in, even when she was carrying the whole point.
What I like in this story wasn’t the interruption ... it was the correction. One man calling another back into line and giving the woman her space again. That’s the part I recognize. That’s the part I try to do.
Yielding the floor isn’t weakness. It’s respect. It’s saying: her voice matters, and you don’t get to bulldoze it just because you’re used to being heard first.
Good men don’t speak over women.
Good men make sure the room hears them.
Steve
Here I am quoting from an upcoming blog post on my blog What’s going on with men
richtuch.substack.com
Being interrupted or talked over is a common female experience. Workplace studies tell the same story across industries: women in mixed meetings are interrupted at substantially higher rates than men, are credited less often when they do speak, and are more likely to find their ideas adopted only after a male colleague restates them. The dynamic operates at all levels of society and has even been observed in the highest echelons — including the United States Supreme Court. A 2017 study by legal scholars Tonja Jacobi and Dylan Schweers found male justices interrupted female justices at three times the rate they interrupted one another. Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan, and Ruth Bader Ginsburg were interrupted repeatedly — sometimes 10–15+ times by individual male colleagues in a single term. The pattern extended beyond the bench: male attorneys were also more likely to interrupt female justices. When the Court imposed stricter turn-taking rules, interruptions dropped off.