Thank you. My uncle committed suicide. For years my dad talked about how they lived so close but rarely talked, and it's "just how we are". Like it was a point of pride that our family knows we can always reach out for help no matter how long it's been. But then you don't. It takes regular effort to kinkeep. I'm bad at this myself and know where it comes from. You're spot-on, and I'm sorry for you and your friend.
Superb advice. Thanks for continuing to get this lesson out there... Until we stop shooting ourselves in the head and dying by overdose, we cannot stop.
Thanks for this. My father committed suicide and he did tell his family how he was feeling. It was met with, “you just need to take up running” by his brother, brushed off by his parents. I tried to get him some professional help, something that is simply not done in my family. It was just sad all the way around. Really good article and relevant to this times as the suicide and addiction rates are off the charts.
Strong point and agree. Keep encouraging this stigma to change. And yes, people often reach out, testing the waters and can be met with a shrug and, "Don't think that way."
Thank you Leigh for your article. I love it, and it's very clear in its message. It's normal to have issues, it's crazy to pretend everything is fine even when it isn't. I have published on Substack an essay with the same basic intent behind it: "Fuck normal" – the myth of Normal used as a weapon" (June 18, 2026). ---
We need to change our attitudes around internal struggles, emotional challenges and everything that can ruffle feathers. Your article very clearly pointed out the "double" aspects involved: the person suffering depression, inner pain, panic or whatever AND the surrounding people who more often than not shy away in fear(?), awkwardness or avoidance. Thus making the suffering even harder to bear.---
I don't give a rat's fart for the ideal of "the stiff upper lip". It's a dangerous and cruel idea. We humans HAVE issues, and it's time to learn how to support each other when that happens. (I have been i therapy for more than 10 years, I have done the work, and I have healed. That helps of course.). It starts with being honest with oneself and dare to encounter what's "in there". This can be immensely freeing, even if it's scary too in the beginning. And then when someone else is in pain one can be there for them, which can be a truly rewarding experience that brings two persons closer together. Alienation and isolation is a sign of a society in a dire need of healing. We have the means to break such patterns and habits. --- Love, Maria
I had to keep my problems under wraps for years, because loud and oppositional family members would not let me speak. A loving wife and other friends kept me from going off the deep end. I learned to talk back to the bullies and developed a healthy self-respect. Too many don't get that chance.
I think for your first step you need to encourage them to see and develop a professional relationship with a General Practitioner. It is much less theatening than exposing yourself to a therapist for the first time. For me, what got me on the road to recovery was to get the chemicals in my brain sorted out. It took time and it took several monthly visits to my doctor and tweeking medications to see that it was going to work for me. Talk therapy can come later when they have some balance in their chemestry and therapy will become much less scary.
Thank you. My uncle committed suicide. For years my dad talked about how they lived so close but rarely talked, and it's "just how we are". Like it was a point of pride that our family knows we can always reach out for help no matter how long it's been. But then you don't. It takes regular effort to kinkeep. I'm bad at this myself and know where it comes from. You're spot-on, and I'm sorry for you and your friend.
Superb advice. Thanks for continuing to get this lesson out there... Until we stop shooting ourselves in the head and dying by overdose, we cannot stop.
Thanks for this. My father committed suicide and he did tell his family how he was feeling. It was met with, “you just need to take up running” by his brother, brushed off by his parents. I tried to get him some professional help, something that is simply not done in my family. It was just sad all the way around. Really good article and relevant to this times as the suicide and addiction rates are off the charts.
Strong point and agree. Keep encouraging this stigma to change. And yes, people often reach out, testing the waters and can be met with a shrug and, "Don't think that way."
Thank you Leigh for your article. I love it, and it's very clear in its message. It's normal to have issues, it's crazy to pretend everything is fine even when it isn't. I have published on Substack an essay with the same basic intent behind it: "Fuck normal" – the myth of Normal used as a weapon" (June 18, 2026). ---
We need to change our attitudes around internal struggles, emotional challenges and everything that can ruffle feathers. Your article very clearly pointed out the "double" aspects involved: the person suffering depression, inner pain, panic or whatever AND the surrounding people who more often than not shy away in fear(?), awkwardness or avoidance. Thus making the suffering even harder to bear.---
I don't give a rat's fart for the ideal of "the stiff upper lip". It's a dangerous and cruel idea. We humans HAVE issues, and it's time to learn how to support each other when that happens. (I have been i therapy for more than 10 years, I have done the work, and I have healed. That helps of course.). It starts with being honest with oneself and dare to encounter what's "in there". This can be immensely freeing, even if it's scary too in the beginning. And then when someone else is in pain one can be there for them, which can be a truly rewarding experience that brings two persons closer together. Alienation and isolation is a sign of a society in a dire need of healing. We have the means to break such patterns and habits. --- Love, Maria
I had to keep my problems under wraps for years, because loud and oppositional family members would not let me speak. A loving wife and other friends kept me from going off the deep end. I learned to talk back to the bullies and developed a healthy self-respect. Too many don't get that chance.
I think for your first step you need to encourage them to see and develop a professional relationship with a General Practitioner. It is much less theatening than exposing yourself to a therapist for the first time. For me, what got me on the road to recovery was to get the chemicals in my brain sorted out. It took time and it took several monthly visits to my doctor and tweeking medications to see that it was going to work for me. Talk therapy can come later when they have some balance in their chemestry and therapy will become much less scary.